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 SENIOR LIVING - Reflections on Father's Day
- The Catholic Sun (June 2008)
by Guy Mikkelsen
On Sunday June 15th, Father’s Day will dawn once more and young as well as adult children all across America will have an opportunity to reflect again on the meaning of fatherhood and the role that one particular man has had in their lives.
Celebrating Dad’s special day year after year can easily become a rather standard exercise involving greeting cards, cakes, shirts, ties, socks and often, in these modern times, gift cards for restaurants and electronics stores. Such gifts are well deserved and encouraged, but perhaps this year we might reflect more deeply on the unique relationship we each have had with our Father, or in some situations, a man in our lives who gave us care and support when most needed.
History of Father’s Day
Interestingly enough, the idea of celebrating fathers was inspired by a sermon delivered on Mother’s Day in 1909. Mrs. Sonora Smart Dodd of Washington State was reminded of how her beloved dad, Civil War veteran William Jackson Smart, had as a single parent raised his six children after his wife’s death. She decided to call for an annual recognition of the contributions that fathers make to the lives of their children.
The first Father’s Day in America was celebrated in Spokane on June 19, 1910 and received rapid acceptance across the country. In 1924 President Calvin Coolidge recommended it as a national holiday. In 1966, President Lyndon Johnson made Fathers' Day a holiday to be celebrated on the third Sunday of June. The holiday was officially recognized in 1972 during the presidency of Richard Nixon. Fathers are now honored in many countries around the world although often on different days than in the United States.
Saint Joseph as father
In our Catholic tradition, fathers are also recognized on Saint Joseph’s Day, March 19th. As the spouse of Mary and the foster father of Jesus, Saint Joseph is a universal role model for all fathers. He embodies the most desirable virtues as well as the essential commonness of fatherhood.
Joseph was a simple man quietly making a living as a carpenter but also someone who could rise to quiet heroism when the occasion required. Think of Joseph steadfastly leading his wife to Bethlehem for the census and through persistence and resourcefulness establishing a makeshift home in a stable for the birth of our Savior. Think also of Joseph as a man of action courageously traveling through Egypt to evade Herod’s agents and return his family safely to Nazareth.
Like all Dads, Joseph was also utterly human and faced the typical challenges of raising a child whose job it was to define His own mission in life. One can only imagine the astonishment Joseph must have experience when the lost twelve year old boy Jesus was found and announced, “Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business.”
The Gift of being a Father
Of course, few fathers can claim to match Joseph’s strength and wisdom. Raising children is full of challenges. Each of us as children – at whatever age we find ourselves – gradually come to understand the gift our fathers have given us and the stresses they have experienced in protecting, guiding, teaching, nurturing, and financially supporting us.
I encourage each of us to spend some time this Father’s Day considering, as best as our perspective on life allows, some of our father’s experiences and his support of the family. Consider the stress of balancing work life and home life and in general trying his best to give each child the opportunity for a better life than perhaps he was afforded. Focus less on what was achieved than what was attempted.
I have so many wonderful memories of working with my father at a dairy during summers while in college. He always said, “It is what you do when people aren’t looking that is the real measure of a man.” We don’t know all the times our fathers watched us as we were sleeping, gently kissing our foreheads, pulling the blankets over our bare shoulders, and trying each day to be a better father in an ever changing relationship as we grew and challenged everything.
I also recommend that, in addition to the usual Father’s Day gifts, each of us engage our Dad in appreciative conversation on what it was like to be a Dad at each stage of his family life. And after listening intently, take a few minutes to reflect and then express out loud your own best understanding of what your Dad’s efforts have meant in your life. This listening and sharing may be the best gifts that either of you have ever bestowed or received.
Guy Mikkelsen is President and CEO of The Foundation for Senior Living. For more information, visit www.fsl.org.
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